Boutique luxury hotel accommodations in Vancouver's upscale Yaletown district, with full catering and meeting facilities.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Day the Earth Stood Still

By Daniel Edward Craig

For the residents, businesses and visitors to Yaletown who have endured construction of the Canada Line underground rapid transit station these past three years, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, it’s a speeding train—a Canada Line train. Whether it will flatten us with a railcar of problems—traffic, parking, security—or will transport our neighbourhood to a new level of cosmopolitanism remains to be seen.

The good news is the gaping pit that’s been clogging Yaletown’s main artery and affecting business since 2006 has been filled, and Davie Street is now reopen. Recently, government officials announced that Canada Line will be open by Labour Day, three months ahead of schedule. Soon passengers will be whisked from Yaletown to the airport in 22 minutes and downtown in just three minutes. Before the thunder of bulldozers fades away, a little reflection is in order.

I’ll never forget that day in 2005 when a group of super-friendly people from a company called Ravco came to visit me at Opus Hotel and told me about plans for a high-speed rail project linking the airport to Richmond and Vancouver. Yaletown would have its own underground station, directly across the street from the hotel, and it would take three years to build. I was crestfallen. Since opening in 2002, Opus had ranked as one of the top hotels in the city in occupancy and guest satisfaction. Soon our clean, safe, highly-desirable heritage neighourhood would be overrun by bulldozers, dump trucks and butt-crack-baring construction workers. As the hotel’s general manager I did what any great leader would do: I locked myself in my office and had a good cry. Then I went online to look for a new job.

At Opus we were deeply concerned about the impacts of construction on our guests. Hotels, which run on the promise of comfort and rest, typically remain quiet about construction, hoping guests won’t notice the jack-hammering in the lobby. One of our employees suggested we try something radical: we tell guests the truth. The idea was immediately dismissed as preposterous. But it fit in with our organizational values of integrity and respect, and when no one came up with a better solution, we decided to give it a whirl. From that point forward callers were informed about construction activity at time of reservation. Rooms closest to construction were sold at a discount. A construction notice was posted on our website and in our confirmation letters, and a note was placed in rooms to explain the project.

It was a nail-biting risk. We were providing our guests a reason to stay elsewhere and our competitors a weapon to use against us. Many of our rooms didn’t face the construction site and activity was sporadic—why alarm all guests when only a few would be disturbed? Transparency threatened to only exacerbate the problem.

Yet to ignore construction can be far more damaging to a hotel. While a guest at a hotel in Atlanta, I endured drilling next door for three days before I complained. I was transferred to the duty manager’s line, and I left a message. I didn’t hear back. The next day a gift basket was delivered to my room, complete with a jar of Georgian peach salsa. There was no note or business card, so I wasn’t sure who it came from. Meanwhile, the drilling turned to jack-hammering. I left another message for the duty manager, requesting to change rooms. Again, no call back. That night, another gift arrived, a slab of chocolate that vaguely resembled the hotel’s logo. It had melted—much like my resolve to fight. I checked out the next day and, as much as I enjoyed the peach salsa, I won’t be staying there again.

Another misguided tactic is to make light of construction. Years ago, when I worked at the Westin Harbour Castle in Toronto, to make light of lobby renovations management decided to dress up two front desk employees each shift as construction workers. One day, upon reporting for duty I was handed a hardhat and an orange vest. “I don’t think so,” I said, handing them back—the hotel’s polyester uniform was humiliating enough. I was overruled. To my surprise, I found myself enjoying the construction worker role-play thing—until an irate guest stormed up to me and began ranting about not getting a harbour view. Partway through, he stopped, blinked, and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” The hats and vests were discontinued shortly thereafter.

As part of its efforts to soften the impact of construction, Canada Line formed a business liaison communications committee comprising of representatives from local businesses and various stakeholders. I sat on this committee for two years, and at the monthly meetings I was often either trembling with rage or nodding off in boredom. We small businesses felt powerless at times, a motley crew of Dr. Dooms and Debbie Downers pitted against a slick group of big-business executives, government and spin doctors. Sometimes I wondered if Canada Line officials fantasized about working in a totalitarian regime, where residents find out about an infrastructure project when a wrecking ball crashes through their home.

Despite assurances otherwise, construction cut off direct access to the hotel’s underground parkade, obliging our valets to drive several blocks to reach the side entrance to our own building. To ease the pressure we were granted access to an area in front of the hotel to stage cars. We parked luxury vehicles there, hoping to distract from the logo-plastered hording, the dirt and the portable toilets. Canada Line officials promised to support beleaguered businesses but patronized Opus only occasionally. One of the only contractors who did stay complained about construction noise and insisted on being moved to a quieter room.

Opus lost its share of business due to construction, and we had to work hard to appease some of our guests. Yet by being transparent we built a relationship of trust with our clientele, and our guest satisfaction ratings remained high throughout. Damage is inevitable in a project of this magnitude, and Yaletown has suffered more than its share, albeit less visibly so compared to the devastation along Cambie Street. Overall I think Canada Line and its stakeholders did an admirable job of working with Yaletown businesses. Even when delivering bad news they were so courteous it was impossible to stay angry—a tactic I suspect they appropriated from the hotel industry. The construction workers were respectful too, and I didn’t see a butt crack the entire time, which admittedly was a bit disappointing.

Despite the obvious challenges, Opus has been a supporter of Canada Line from the beginning. I would have even been more enthusiastic had the station been built elsewhere—like next to one of our competitor hotels. But few areas of downtown Vancouver have been completely spared the headaches of construction in the lead-up to the 2010 Olympics. On a trip to the waterfront two years ago, I was shocked by the loud, unrelenting “Ping!” resonating from the convention centre expansion site. I asked an employee of a nearby hotel how he could stand the noise. “Noise? What noise?” he said, his upper cheek twitching with each ping.

In December 2007, at the height of construction, I left my position as general manager of Opus and passed my hardhat to my successor, Nicholas Gandossi. Today, as we celebrate the reinstatement of Davie Street, we’re filled with gratitude to our guests for being so understanding and cool. We look forward to welcoming the new clientele that this efficient, environmentally-friendly transit system will carry to our doorstep, and we hope that Canada Line will fulfill its promise to leave Yaletown even better than when construction began.

See the modified version of this post published in The Vancouver Sun.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Emerging Trends in the Hotel Industry: A Lighthearted Approach

by Daniel Edward Craig

The hotel industry is built on cheerfulness and spirited optimism, yet in these challenging economic times it’s getting increasingly difficult for employees to hold their smile. Amidst all the doom and gloom I thought I’d take a more lighthearted approach to identifying some of the trends emerging in the hotel industry.

1. Everything learned in revenue management training has gone out the window. Hysteria rules the day as hotels drop rates, get indignant when competitors drop rates in response, and then panic and drop rates even further. All inventory is now treated as distressed inventory, erasing years of brand-equity-building and training travelers to look for the best deals on third-party websites. It will take years to recover from these rate wars, and the only winner is the traveler.

2. Travelers are becoming more demanding and less forgiving. Acutely aware of the hotel industry’s desperation to fill rooms, travelers are demanding even deeper discounts and more value add-ons while at the same time refusing to tolerate the cuts to services hotels have been forced to implement to stay afloat, posting nasty comments on TripAdvisor like “Save your money! This hotel has gone to hell!!”

3. Service levels are nose-diving. The labor shortage crisis of 2008, when hoteliers blamed poor service levels on lack of employee resources, has given way to the job shortage crisis of 2009, in which hoteliers now blame poor service levels on tight labor budgets. Managers have been forced to cover frontline shifts to save labor costs, thereby revealing they have no clue how their department operates, resulting in a deluge of missed wakeup calls, accounting errors and guests checked into occupied rooms.

4. Eco-friendly initiatives are being tossed into the recycling bin. Faced with the grim realization that going green costs money, hotels are instead opting for programs that guilt the guest into making the sacrifices, such as the now-ubiquitous optional towel and sheet replacement program. Having discovered that guests will tolerate plastic recycling bins and off-white tissue paper, hotels will begin to phase out those cute little bottles of shampoo, blackberry jam and Dijon mustard in favor of “eco-friendly” (cheap) bulk offerings.

5. Automation and do-it-yourself options are replacing costly employees. Hotel managers, faced with the horror of having to deal with guests themselves, are considering previously unthinkable initiatives like automated check-in kiosks. New labor-saving programs will include make-your-own-bed-and-breakfast packages, do-it-yourself luggage carts, and computers standing in for concierges. Meanwhile, all gratuitous positions created during the halcyon days like “tanning concierge”, “dream butler” and “pillow consultant” have been summarily retired.

6. The trend toward offering more healthful food choices in restaurants, room service and mini-bars is being reversed. Hotels have discovered that cheeseburgers, Coke and Kit Kats sell better and are more profitable.

7. Lifestyle hotels are popping everywhere though travelers still have no idea what they are. Customization will be taken a step further, with such options as the daily repainting of rooms to match the guest’s wardrobe, smart lighting that adjusts according to the guest’s mood, and hotels designed exclusively for germophobes, anarchists and narcissists. Meanwhile, lifestyle hotels continue to confuse guests with cutesy names for traditional positions like “comfort consultant” for housekeeper, “personal nutritionist” for waitress and “ambassador to happiness” for front desk agent.

8. Complimentary amenities are mysteriously vanishing. “Amenity Creep”, the one-upmanship game hotels played during prosperous times by adding superfluous items like lip balm, wrinkle cream and nose-hair trimmers, has given way to “Amenity Retreat”, in which all but essential items are being removed and guests will soon be charged for non-essential items like blankets, soap and hot water. Dog-friendly hotels are also being phased out as hotels realize that dogs are not hotel-friendly.

9. The boutique-hotel-as-nightclub trend will spread to traditional hotels like Ritz Carlton, Fairmont and Four Seasons. Lobbies will morph into late-night clubs, with Bach concertos replaced by techno grooves from in-house DJs. Traditional doormen in Beefeater-style uniforms will be supplanted by lobby hostesses in booty shorts, and the mantra “It’s my pleasure, sir” will surrender to “Hey, no problem, man.”

10. Standalone hotels will become a thing of the past. Mixed-use developments, in which hotels are housed in the same complex as condos, retail outlets and office space and condo owners shoulder the burden of costly hotel construction by paying for access to services they will never use, will expand to include hospitals, churches and crematoriums to ensure guests never check out.

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Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Devil, the Details, and Pierre

A recent guest took our Lifestyle Concierge quiz and was so surprised by his similarities to Pierre he sent us this letter. We thought you’d enjoy.

To: Mr. Nicholas Gandossi, General Manager

I have just spent an evening at your trendy little address in Vancouver and felt I should convey my observations for the sake of fellow travelers, loungers and food lovers.

A little selective disclosure: I travel extensively, have enjoyed all manner of lodgings, from the piteous to the posh, and have come to appreciate good food and fine wine. In short, according to your Lifestyle Concierge quiz, I am “Pierre”, right down to my strong preference for all things French. That you were able to peg my profile so closely borders on privacy invasion – if it weren’t so flattering.

First impressions: If your staff were any more accommodating, I might believe they actually enjoy what they do (perhaps they get paid too much – you might want to look into that). “We’ll have our hotel car take you there.” “I’m sure we can launder your shirt for this evening.” “We’ll see what we can do about finding a replacement sock.” (Don’t ask.) It all got to be a bit tiresome, I must say. I take great pleasure in finding fault, and deeply resented being deprived of such.

A hotel reveals itself not all at once but in layers of nuanced and subtle detail, like a beautiful woman or, in culinary terms, an onion. Take your fitness room. Bright and well equipped indeed, but was that larger-than-life, nude mural near the entrance meant to motivate or mock me? The closest I will ever get to becoming this Adam of Eden was one of the complimentary apples, which at first seemed like a consolation prize, but as the evening progressed became more a symbol of temptation. Then again, I could have been reading too much into it.

As for my room, like Pierre, I approved of its “airy and fresh décor, a tad conservative, eclectic and cozy” reflecting my “tony and traditional lifestyle” (your words not mine, and if I may you’re trying just a bit too hard). However, I do have a quibble about the “intimacy kit” in the amenity drawer: thoughtful, yes, but only one prophylactic? A bit lacking for someone of my prowess. The last thing I want to worry about while in flagrante is whether supplies will run out, to say nothing of the awkward conversation with room service (you try tipping without pockets). And the oxygen dispenser? This is Vancouver for heaven’s sake, not Mexico City. Yet I had to confess it might come in handy and placed it next to the intimacy kit. As for the bathroom and its enormous window overlooking the room, I love the open concept – a little voyeuristic and naughty (parts of my profile your quiz missed) – but my 82-year-old grandmother might see it differently.

A word about your car service. The BMW 7 Series is built for speed and should to be driven as such. I was totally unimpressed with your driver’s insistence on going the speed limit and adamantly refusing my commands to cut other drivers off and jump meridians. Yes, there were small children in the area, but I was late for my fitting at Harry Rosen, and small children have never impeded my drivers in Paris. A small suggestion: send driving staff to the Grand Prix for training.

I had been looking forward to a drink at notorious hotspot Opus Bar, so was disappointed that it wasn’t busier. Yes, it was rather early, but it was cocktail hour somewhere in the world. Kristina, my sultry waitress, informed me that staff were setting up for a private party that evening, “when the real debauchery begins.” I took that thought with me to the loo, where the only thing that separates the boys from the girls, besides the obvious, is a window. My poor grandmother would have had to hold her bladder all night long. To my delight I found video screens mounted above the urinals, allowing me to spy on people in the lounge while relieving myself. Two were broken, however, and I was obliged to wait in line for one that worked, and then rejoin the line after others complained I was taking too long. Kindly repair.

Now, I’m no Anton Ego (the uber-critic from Ratatouille) but like him, I have a soft spot for simple dishes, perfectly prepared. The menu at Elixir was inventive and inviting, if a bit rich. Bypassing the lobster bisque and biodynamic risotto, I followed my inner “Ego” and chose the rib-eye, with pecorino and truffle oil pommes frites, all preceded by the poached pears, for balance of course. As I sipped an exquisite glass of Garry Oaks Fetish (you know me so well), I couldn’t help but be baffled by Elixir’s French-bistro décor and its contrast to the ultra chic Opus Bar only metres away. It was as if the two venues were competing. If they were, Opus Bar won, because as much as I love fine cuisine I love les jolies femmes even more. There, Kristina had been true to her word: by 11:00 pm the party had spilled into the lobby (ever hear of a retaining wall?) and the area resembled a mosh pit – granted, with the most beautiful and fragrant bodies one might ever be accidentally pushed against.

In the interest of discretion I feel obliged to wrap things up here. In conclusion, would I return to your hotel? Let me simply say this: If the devil is in the details, then she must have a room at Opus.

Yours truly,
“Pierre”

P.S. I’m only slightly exaggerating when I say the Tylenol and oxygen canister brought me back to life on Saturday morning. Whoever put them in the mini-bar deserves a promotion.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Home Sweet Hotel

The increasing popularity of condo-hotel developments has put within reach a lifestyle previously reserved for the rich and famous: living in a hotel. Having been living in a hotel myself for the past few months, I’ve discovered that it’s not as always as glamorous as it sounds. For any aspiring Donald Trumps out there, a cautionary tale.

Earlier this year, I was approached about relocating to Montreal to live on property as a consultant to the management team of Opus Montreal. With visions of a grandiose lifestyle, I signed a three-month contract. But just prior to my departure things took an unexpected turn when the general manager resigned. Suddenly, I would no longer be working bankers’ hours as an overpaid consultant. I’d be on the front lines as the hotel’s acting resident manager.

Upon arrival I was installed in chic and modern room with red walls. It was only 325 square feet, and had no kitchen, balcony or vibrating bed, but we human beings are natural nesters, and soon it felt like home. The advantages of hotel living became immediately obvious: I would never have to run a vacuum; I had an army of staff on standby to cater to my every whim; and my commute was a short elevator ride to the lobby. I could order room service every night, watch pay movies, and raid the mini-bar—all for free. Each night my bed was turned down for me, chocolates placed on my pillow, and toilet paper rolls tucked into a perfect fold. I had little bottles of shampoo, blackberry jam and vodka, all just for me.

The work was all-consuming, but I loved being back in the thick of things. Then one day it occurred to me I hadn’t left the property in three days. I had earned respect for the hours I worked, but it was only because I had no friends and had nothing better to do. I was getting lazy, spoiled and out of shape. The hotel’s food was amazing, but sometimes I just wanted a peanut butter sandwich. Serious changes were in order. I filled my mini-bar with healthy foods, purchased a microwave and toaster, reduced housekeeping visits to once per week, and started going to a local gym.

Remember Eloise, that precocious six-year-old in children’s storybooks who lived in the penthouse suite at New York’s Plaza Hotel? She always found time for mischief. The difference between Eloise and me is I’m running the joint, which takes all the fun out of hotel living. I’m acutely aware that employees are observing me. Not that I’m paranoid, I’m just a bit neurotic. I don’t want the maid to think I’m a slob, so I make the bed and wipe down the sink before she cleans my room. I’m convinced that restaurant staff hate me because, in accordance with industry practice, I tip only 10% on meals. And while I love how my clothes come back from dry-cleaning all pressed and fresh-smelling, the thought of colleagues sorting through my dirty laundry is a bit unsettling.

One of the allures of hotels is anonymity. Guests can check in, make a mess, be obnoxious, and check out with impunity. I don’t have that luxury here. I can’t be grumpy or difficult, and I can’t stumble in drunk with two hookers on my arms. Not that I ever would, but the fact that I can’t feels oppressive. There’s a nightclub here, Suco, and I’ve considered hanging out there and trying to meet some cool, beautiful Montreal types, but I fear they’ll think I’m a sad, desperate predator, the resident lounge lizard. Fortunately, it’s not really an issue because I can’t stay awake past 10:00. Well, not usually. On a recent Saturday I went out to “faire la fête” with friends from Vancouver and got back at 5:00 AM. Not wanting staff to see me, I skulked through the back entrance, only to run smack into a couple of bar staff getting off shift. “Fun night, Mr. Craig?” one of them asked with a snicker.

When I spend too much time in my room I start to worry I’m becoming Howard Hughes, with those crazed eyes and long yellow toenails. I try to get out more, but unlike at home I don’t have the freedom to wander around in my bathrobe. Even during my time off I feel uncomfortable in jeans because hotel employees aren't supposed to wear street clothes in public areas. I think the rule has something to do with guests not wanting to know that the staff they’re abusing are real people. Returning from the gym one night, I had to deal with a situation in the lobby in a sweaty muscle shirt and shorts. Another time I was crossing the lobby in my weekend casuals when a gaggle of irate meeting planners accosted me. Six hours later they released me from their clutches.

When I’m in my street clothes I’m never sure how to behave around guests. Do I act like one of them and avoid eye contact? Or do I act like an employee and smile, engaging them in friendly conversation? I’ve found that the latter approach can lead to frantic elevator-button pressing, particularly from Torontonians. Around employees I feel obligated to speak French, or at least to mumble a few badly-pronounced words to show my deep respect for the culture. But, like other Canadian students, after four years of university French I discovered I couldn’t speak a word. I’m taking lessons now, but I’m pretty sure my instructor thinks I have a severe learning disability. Sometimes it’s just easier to stay in my room.

When I travel I like to bring a magazine down to the hotel restaurant and read over dinner. Here I find myself in Koko holding impromptu meetings with staff and guests, signing purchase orders, and sometimes even bussing tables while my food goes cold and my magazine sits unread. I don’t mind, though. Meetings are so much more enjoyable with a glass of wine in my hand.

In September a citywide convention coincided with a strike at several Montreal hotels, leaving a number of hotels overbooked. One night I got mired in a nasty relocate situation with a group of travel-weary Germans. They returned to Opus the next day, and every time I ran into them—far too often since we were cohabitating—they stared daggers at me. To avoid relocating more guests I packed my bags to free up my room and moved into an office. That night, as I stared up at the ceiling from my little cot and thought about all the happy people out there in apartments, I realized I had never been surrounded by so many people yet felt so alone.

Recently, my contract was extended. These days, I make my own bed, eat out most of the time, and even have a few friends. Yet the longer I live in the hotel the more it consumes me. Resistance is futile. I’ve considered renting an apartment, but the truth is I’d miss it. There’s no better way to manage a hotel than to eat, sleep and breathe it. But would I ever move into a condo-hotel complex? Not likely. I don't mind opening my own doors.

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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Is Green the new Black?

Fashion houses are tripping over themselves to start the latest organic seaweed line, and celebrities tightly corseted in jade-coloured silk grace covers of ‘Green-Edition’ glossies (hello, Madonna’s done 3 of ‘em). It begs the question, is green the new black? I pondered this question from 35 000 feet in the air, on my 3rd non-offset cross- country flight in nearly as many weeks.

More accurately, I struggled to write a few words about the eco-creds of the luxury travel industry. As Rita Selvan, editor of Elle Canada wryly notes in June’s edition, it’s kind of tricky to ‘talk green when the very nature of your business doesn’t exactly scream green’. Well put. She comments, ‘it’s no picnic preaching green from the perfumed perch of a fashion magazine’. Well try the luxury hotel industry, arbiter of taste, style and it must be said, excess. High thread-count sheets (bleached bone white, natch), delicacies flown in from 4 corners of the world for discerning diners, lilliputian bottles of shampoo/conditioner/cleanser/. No expense spared, and all de rigueur. When the guest’s paying top dollar, they expect the best.

Increasingly, being green no longer comes at the expense of earning green – or providing a luxury product. In fact, a lot of travelers want to know what their hotels are doing to be more environmentally friendly – and will make their choices based on this information. This hasn’t been lost on chains such as Fairmont which command high prices, while leading the industry in their commitment to lessen their impact on the environment. Entrepreneurial hoteliers around the world are opening eco-lodges, eco-resorts, and eco-spas to capitalize on the earnest/well meaning/curious/affluent.

What can guests do to lighten luxury’s footprint? A few suggestions for your next hotel stay at Opus.


  • Re-use your towels and linens. Using the same towel or sheets cuts down on phosphates and water usage.

  • When you’re out, turn off all lights and music, and turn down the thermostat.

  • Unplug your laptop! Even when it’s off, leaving it plugged in uses energy.

  • Recycle. Every room has a bin for your convenience…please use it! We’ll even sort it for you.

  • Sightseeing? Instead of driving, walk or use one of Opus Vancouver’s complimentary bikes.

  • Next time you fly, off-set a portion of your flight with carbon credits. Hang on to those ‘free’ earsets that come with purchase of your thousand dollar ticket. The airlines don’t recycle them, so at least you can reuse them.

  • Rent a hybrid car (or at least a compact vehicle) next time you’re traveling.


Speaking of hybrids, Opus recently decided to offer guests driving hybrids cars free valet parking. Their vehicle choice benefits all of us, so we’re extending a little benefit back to them.

If you’re curious to check out what else Opus is doing to try and reduce its impact on the environment, visit our About Us section. As a famous frog once said, It’s not Easy Being Green. But we all need to start somewhere.



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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Return of the Intrepid Blogger

By Daniel Edward Craig

It’s me again! Did you miss me? Did you even notice I was gone? Don’t worry, I haven’t returned to my old job as general manager of Opus. I’ve been asked to do a Special Guest Star appearance on this blog. Apparently Katrina has been “busy”, but every time I walk past Glowbal I see her sipping wine on the patio.

[Note from Katrina: FUNNY, Dan. It’s more like guzzling bad coffee on Montreal-bound flights. Now if we’re talking patio-tippling, I believe there have been numerous sightings of an certain author…]

It’s been five looong months since I left Opus to finish my book, and, well, it’s been hell. If I ever questioned whether I loved my job before, I don’t anymore. Managing a hotel is not easy, but writing is ten times harder. Spending all that time with no one to talk to but an evil voice that keeps telling you you’re a fraud can play nasty tricks on your psyche. (That voice used to say the same thing when I was a hotel manager but there were more people around to drown it out).

The good news is, my third book is done and my second, Murder at Hotel Cinema, is out this month. Continuing with the hotel whodunit theme, this one is about the murder of a troubled celebrity at the opening party of a fashionable Hollywood hotel—that is not unlike Opus. When his prized employees become suspects, general manager Trevor Lambert struggles to protect them from the incriminating glare of the LAPD and the prying eyes of reporters, risking everything to expose the killer. Ooh scary! My launch takes place later this month—where else but Opus? After that I’ll be a free agent, so if you know anyone looking for someone to do very little work for lots of money, send them my way.

Truth is, I never fully severed ties with Opus. Not only do I drop in regularly to beg staff to tell me they still love me, but I’ve also done some project work, most recently having updated the Lifestyle Concierge, which will be up and running soon. On a recent visit I was thrilled to see a development proposal announcing plans for a 250-seat restaurant on Opus’s rooftop. Hot! I’m thinking of applying as a suntan lotion boy, but only if I can wear little white shorts and make enough tips to never have to write again. I was also happy to hear about the opening of Koko in Montreal, which I’m told was the party of the year—and no murders! So much for new writing material.

I used to shy away from commenting on the Vancouver hotel scene, but now that I’m a Special Guest Star with no real accountability, I thought I’d put out a few random Deep Hotel Thoughts:

1. Where are the guests going to come from?
It’s fantastic to see all the new hotels under development in Vancouver, but after the 2010 Olympics it’s going to be a fierce market. Only those who offer a superior product will thrive. Go Opus!

2. Does Vancouver need another Fairmont?
Not that Fairmont doesn’t run fantastic hotels, but with the 415-room Fairmont Pacific Rim scheduled to open in mid-2009 there will be four Fairmonts in Vancouver, plus one in Whistler and another in Victoria. Maybe too much of a good thing? I think Fairmont should give one back. We’ll take the new one.

3. Will Hotel Loden ever open?
I remember the drama when Opus was delayed by a few months and can certainly empathize with the opening team at Loden. By my calculation it’s about seventeen years behind schedule, but maybe it just feels that way. Let’s get a move on, builders, it’s lonely on the boutique front and Opus is looking forward to some friendly competition.

Well, that’s it for now. It’s been great reconnecting. Hopefully I’ll be invited back. If not, you can always visit me at www.danieledwardcraig.com. Until then, be cool, don’t forget to tip the maid, avoid hotel rooms with floral bedspreads, and remember to put on a bathrobe before you put that room service cart in the hallway—hotel room doors self-close.

Oh, and don’t forget to enter to win TV Week’s Sex in the City Weekend package, including two nights at Opus with breakfast and parking, spa treatments at Spruce, a collector Sex and the City DVD set and, la pièce de résistance, a night with me at Opus—but no sex, just cocktails and a signed copy of Murder at Hotel Cinema. Good luck!

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

Healthy drinking at Opus Hotel

I’m heading off on vacation for a couple of weeks, so inevitably my minds turned to cocktails.

Apparently, I can enjoy my holiday cocktail-ing guilt free now, according to Brad Stanton, Opus Vancouver’s beverage manager extraordinaire. Cocktails have turned healthy? He recently introduced me to the delightfully appealing concept of cocktails as healthy elixirs. Take a peek at Brad’s video where you’ll be introduced to his talent for concocting nutritious, delicious drinks. Next time you’re nursing a cold or fighting the flu, give yourself permission to pour yourself a stiff drink. Stanton’s orders.




Brad works his cocktail magic every Monday to Friday from 4 to 7 p.m. during Happy Hour at Elixir. Make sure you stop by.

For our Montreal friends, you'll be in on the healthy cocktail action soon. Brad's busy creating the cocktail menu at Koko Restaurant + Bar, opening May 10 in Montreal.

Speaking of Koko, make sure to keep checking our Koko Facebook page, as well as the Koko website, where we'll keep you up-to-date with the latest developments as we approach our grand opening.

As for the latest happenings in Vancouver - we have some fantastic events in store for you, including a new Live Art series starting on the last Thursday of every month. Keep up with all our events on the Opus Bar web site and the Opus Facebook page and as always, you can reach me with your comments here on my blog, and soon (very soon!) on my very own Facebook page.

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Friday, May 02, 2008

Koko Restaurant + Bar Opens at Opus Hotel Montreal



Koko Restaurant Montreal Web Site



A dramatic silver and black backdrop and glittering chandeliers set the stage for Montreal's hottest new dining, drinking and socializing space. To set the mood, resident DJs spin with international talent to bring the latest electro-house rhythms from East and West.



In the dazzling Grand Salon, an electric green runway cuts a swath through the cloud-white room while turn-of-the-century muses painted on the ceiling contemplate the action from above. Draped in black velvet, the sumptuous Petit Salon in the building's historic section provides an intimate space for discrete encounters. Outside, the expansive terrace offers a sanctuary for basking in the afternoon sun or flirting in the moonlight.

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Monday, March 31, 2008

The Importance of Being a Blogger





Since my last post our Facebook page has increased to over 654 fans! I am totally amazed at how viral this medium is and how quickly it can grow. Its probably been helped a lot by the roster of cool events we promoted via FB, including our Leap Year VIP party featuring DJ Stonebridge straight from Sweden, ya. We actually took a podcast of the night which you can check out here. I’ve become hooked on these podcasts, so we organized another one for Friday night. We had K-os in the house! With a guest list of 400 and counting I was a bit nervous about capacity, but it was a huge success! If you didn’t get a chance to come down, be sure to watch the podcast on FB, we should have it posted in the next couple of days.

[BTW: Now that our brilliant social marketers have wrangled us into Facebook, we’ll be using the page as an invite list, as well as posting photos and video, so check back often to see the latest updates and leave feedback. ]

With one FB page down, I just can’t stop. Across the country, we’ve already got a Facebook page set up for the sophisticated Suco Resto-Lounge at Opus Montreal. But, what I’m really excited about is unveiling the announcement of our 9000 foot super-glam new restaurant and bar that is opening in 6 weeks. (Eek). We are seriously down to business getting ready for this huge launch and the days are passing at an alarming pace. I had a sneak peak at the website today though and am completely keyed up about its debut next week. Very sexy! Make sure to check it out…on the QT, we’ll be running a contest on it that you won’t want to miss. Oh yes, and there’ll be another Facebook profile for that too. If you’re dying to know what the name is, you’ll have to check back. It’s top secret until next week.

In case you were wondering, I still don’t have my own Facebook page. I’m working on it! It’s tough to devote a spare second to my virtual self, but I will soon. Looks like the “Get Katrina to join Facebook” group I talked about last time has their work cut out for them.



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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A blogger is born



As a few of you may have noticed, I’ve sorely neglected updating you on the life and antics at Opus Hotels via the blog. I have a long list of fabulous excuses but will spare you most of them. Suffice it to say, life has been on fast forward here since my boss, mentor and dear friend Daniel left to become a full time ‘auteur’ and left me trying (impossibly) to fill his large and stylish shoes.

When Dan pushed the daunting list of activities across his desk that I needed to pick up after his departure, he made me promise to blog often, wittily and well. While I’d had fun subbing in for him in the past, I’d never considered the pressure of actually coming up with (relevant and interesting) things to say on a regular basis. Needless to say, I’m suffering a case of mild inadequateness that comes from attempting to follow his blogger footsteps. Hm, let’s see … he left to pursue writing as a full time career; media have gushed over his witty blog; students in hotel schools have been assigned to read his blog; and now I have to step up to perform? But here I am, on my 4th flight from Montreal in 8 weeks, resolutely starting my first solo post. It feels good.

I’ve been spending a lot of time recently at Opus Montreal planning the usual spate of marketing and communication activities. In this case, they’re directed at the spring 08 opening of what will be Montreal’s hottest, newest drinking and eating establishment. (More on that next post). As most marketers will tell you, it’s no longer enough to take out a couple of ads and hope the masses will come. Nope, it’s all about social marketing nowadays. I imagine I’m speaking to the knowledgeable and converted, but in the past year I’ve turned away from all but the most nominal advertising efforts (to the dismay of persistent sales people flogging ad space) and have become a convert to the merits of SEO, social marketing, viral campaigns and more. As head of marketing for a couple of stylish and contemporary boutique hotels, it’s my job to stay current on the latest trends. If Opus doesn’t chart this territory, who will – the Ritz?

I confess I’m still grappling to understand these various mediums though. For gawd’s sake, I must be the last person standing who hasn’t succumbed to Facebook - yet. [I’ve been informed there’s a user group for people who swore they’d never join … like me.] Fortunately I have some really smart (and patient) people around me that guide me ever so slowly through the differentiators between Facebook and Myspace, Flickr and Youtube, Ebooks and Widgets, the list goes on! Last week, we created a Facebook Business Page for the Opus Hotel and had almost 300 fans join in less than a week! Our page features an events calendar, photos from previous parties, reviews and a discussion board. (Since Valentine’s Day is around the corner, you may want to check out our rocking Valentine’s event featuring London’s own Housexy by Ministry of Sound.)

As I plan the much anticipated spring launch at Opus Montreal, I’m actually getting excited about building our Facebook business profiles and sharing up-to-date information with you through this blog. We’ll even have a weekly video showing the progress of construction. If you come across hotels or bars that demonstrate particular Facebook or blogging brilliance, I’d love to hear from you.

I’m looking forward to adding ‘blogger’ to my bio. Stay tuned for my soon-to-be-created Facebook profile. Look for it under “Groups for people who swore they’d never join”.

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Friday, December 21, 2007

See you on the flipside

December 28 will be my last day at Opus. And wow, what an amazing six years it’s been. For those not interested in hearing me get all sentimental, feel free to fast-forward to previous posts about misbehaving guests, mini-bar sex toys, and makeup-smearing drag queens. For the rest of you, kindly allow me a moment.

There’s one major reason why I’ve come to this place every day for six years, the same reason it’s so hard to leave: the staff. Never before have I worked with such a talented team of dedicated professionals. It’s been a privilege to work with them every day. I’ve learned so much and, most importantly, I’ve had a blast along the way.

I’m proud to be leaving Opus while it leads the boutique hotel market in service, financial performance and reputation. Opus Vancouver is once again named on of the World's Best 500 Hotels in the January 2008 issue of Travel + Leisure magazine. How has a little independent hotel achieved such success? Great location, style, and quality, yes, but more than anything it’s all about the people.

Of course, it it weren’t for our guests none of us would be here. They have been fiercely loyal, inspiring and totally cool. The media has also played a critical part in our success. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting writers from around the world, and they’ve told glowing stories about Opus in every medium. Finally, we couldn’t have come this far without the resources, support and expertise provided by hotel ownership. With Opus Montreal now open, this success is now being duplicated in one of the world’s most vibrant cities—en français et à la Montréalaise.

What becomes of me? I plan to take a few months off to write.
Murder at the Universe, my first novel in the Five-Star Mystery Series featuring hotel-manager-turned-house-detective Trevor Lambert, is now in its second printing. Murder at Hotel Cinema hits the shelves in June 2008. Now I’m on to #3. So I’ll be at home plotting my next murder over champagne and caviar. After that, who knows. I might pursue my lifelong ambition to fold towels at Linens N’ Things.

What becomes of the GM Blog? It will carry on in infamy in Katrina’s capable hands. Should you wish to keep tabs on me, I plan to start my own blog on my website. There, no longer constrained by the conventions of being a hotel manager, I’ll be able to speak even more candidly. If you thought hookers and drag queens were risqué, stay tuned.

My departure opens up opportunities for my colleagues, including Nicholas Gandossi, who becomes general manager of Opus Vancouver, Jacques Fortier, who becomes general manager of Opus Montreal, and Katrina Carroll-Foster, who is now Vice President of Sales & Marketing for Opus Hotels. It gives me great peace of mind to know that these highly capable individuals will be carrying the torch into the future.

To my colleagues, guests, clients, suppliers, media and friends in Vancouver, Montreal and around the world, thank you for the privilege and the pleasure. It's been a fantastic party, but it’s now time for me to go home and write about it.

I will miss you. All the best in 2008 and beyond. Au revoir et a bientôt.

Daniel Craig

Photo courtesy of Out Traveler

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Monday, September 24, 2007

Hotels in Space

Recently there’s been a lot of hype in the media about a hotel that plans to launch in 2012—in space. It’s called Galactic Suites, and reservations lines are expected to be open next year. I would be the first in line if it weren’t for the astronomical price: $4 million for a three-day stay. Now that’s an envious average rate. Since I’ll never be able to afford to be a guest, I thought I might put my name forward as a candidate for hotel manager. Problem is, considering the magnitude of the project and the track record hotels have for opening on time, I fear the launch will be delayed until I’m too old to make the journey—or, well, you know, dead.

That’s the irony of managing a hotel: you become quite comfortable surrounded by luxury and affluence, sometimes to the point where you forget you’re not actually like your guests: they’re rich and you aren’t. It’s always a rude awakening when I go out for dinner and can’t sign the bill to my promo. Hopefully Galactic Suites will offer industry discounts.

The obligatory eighteen-week training period suggests the target market is not your average weekend budget traveler, but more likely business tycoons, rock stars, and billionaire retirees. Fortunately for them, training takes place not in Siberia but at a hotel complex on a Caribbean island. I must say this raised my eyebrow. How will four months on a tropical island prepare these people for space, the most inhospitable environment a human being can endure? A tear in one’s spacesuit would lead to the most painful death imaginable: air would be sucked from lungs, blood would feel like it was boiling in veins, and internal organs would seize. I couldn’t find mention of this in the promotional material.

Why would anyone want to build a hotel in space? Well, why is any hotel built? To make money. When you consider that travelers’ most popular request is a quiet room with a view, imagine how this space hotel could deliver and the premium it could charge—like say, $4 million. Not for the faint of heart, the tour will shuttle guests around the world in a dizzying eighty minutes fifteen times a day at an altitude of 450 km. Promo material boasts that guests will “participate in international space experiments”. Am I paranoid, or does this sound ominous? Will guests conduct the experiments or be the subjects? Let’s hope experiments don’t involve making little tears in spacesuits and pushing guests out the door to see what happens.

As a hotel manager I can’t help but think about other potential challenges. If the hotel overbooks, as hotels like to do, how will relocates be handled? The zero gravity environment will make serving food and beverage challenging, not to mention making beds, cleaning rooms, showering, and, I suppose, using the bathroom. I’m thinking there won’t be a pool, spa, or windows that open. Apparently guests will use Velcro suits to crawl around the hotel by sticking themselves to walls like Spiderman. That could become a real hassle for room service attendants when they forget to bring Ketchup with a delivery. Also, in this age of environmental responsibility, how will a hotel justify rocketing just six guests at a time into space? That’s a lot of carbon credits.

I’ve often said that the hotel business isn’t rocket science, yet it appears it soon will be. The requisite merger of science and hospitality is a bit troubling. The company behind this project is based in Barcelona. As much as I love Spain, my service experiences in that country haven’t been stellar, although admittedly I wasn’t paying $4 million for accommodation. If service is bad, it’s not like you can check out and check into another hotel across the galaxy. The company’s claim that the project is “formed by various professionals in the aerospace industry” is reassuring from a scientific perspective, but where are the hotel industry professionals? Is an astronaut going to be preparing meals and turning down beds at night? They might want to consider getting Singapore involved. And before I get on board, will someone please tell me exactly how many spaceships Spain has built and piloted in the past? I think I’d feel more comfortable if Russia were involved. Whoever it is, I hope they’re better at building hotels than websites. The website for Galactic Suites is just bizarre.

SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT
While on this subject I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that my novel, Murder at the Universe, is set in a futuristic hotel in New York with a space theme. One of the main characters is a former astronaut who is appointed resident manager as a publicity stunt—with disastrous results. The point being, rocket science and hospitality demand very different skills; combining the two might result in really bad reviews on TripAdvisor.

Should I be hired to manage Galactic Suites, I imagine the job will get a little dull at times, what with only three rooms in the entire hotel. Maybe other duties will be involved, like flying the shuttle to and from that Caribbean island. Note to self: during interview don’t mention track record with valet parking at Opus. A company official describes Galactic Suites as a boutique hotel, once again reinforcing this segment’s reputation for being on the cutting edge. This got me even more excited about the possibility—until I read that the company plans to develop an “orbital hotel chain” and one of the partners is intent on colonizing Mars.

Sorry, but I don’t do chains. Or colonies for that matter. I think I’ll stick to Opus for now. I prefer to keep things down to earth.

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Friday, August 03, 2007

Chain conformity and other foreboding phrases


Sorry for the long absence, but I have a good excuse. In case you somehow dodged the salvo of announcements issued by our media team, Opus has adopted a younger sister. She's gorgeous, speaks fluent French and, fortunately, lives far enough away from Vancouver that we won’t be too jealous. Her name is Opus Montreal.

On July 9, Trilogy Properties Corporation, owner-operators of Opus Hotel in Vancouver and operators of Adara Hotel in Whistler, purchased Hotel Godin and re-flagged it Opus Montreal. Since I promised long ago to be a blogger not a flogger, I will resist the temptation to go on and on about this beautiful property, the fantastic staff, its ideal location. I’ll leave that to the website.

I know what you’re thinking. The irony hasn’t escaped me either that, after years of bashing hotel chains, I now work for one. This “chain” is only two hotels, but already I’ve caught myself uttering such odious phrases as “economies of scale” and “chain standards”. Not that hotel chains are evil. Some of my best friends work for them, and I myself have worked for several. They serve many critical functions. For example, they house drunken conventioneers wearing badges and silly hats so boutiques don’t have to. And they fill rooms with low-rated government business so we don’t have to either.

While the term “boutique chain” may sound like an oxymoron, there are a number of successful ones out there: Morgans, Thompson, Joie de Vivre and Kimpton to name a few. It’s not chains themselves that are the problem, but chain mentality. I have an inordinate fear of reporting to some over-caffeinated vice president at corporate office in some obscure state like, say, Delaware who considers herself an authority on all things hotel, yet has never actually worked in one, nor, evidently, even stayed in one. Terms like “chain conformity” also make me shudder. This involves head office issuing a decree that all hotels in the chain offer the same service—like, for example, using the same folksy, cliché-ridden guest welcome letter crafted by the president—regardless of whether it’s a chic urban hotel or a remote resort.

Of course, many travelers are scared of boutique hotels. And who can blame them, given some of the appalling ones out there. Some travelers want the predictability of a hotel chain, where it looks and feels like home no matter where they are in the world. These are the people you see in Paris dining at Burger King. Boutique travelers want surprises, as long as they’re pleasant. You’ll see them dining in some off-the-beaten-path, authentic café in St-Germain-des-Pres.

Does the fact that Opus is now plural mean that our fierce individualism, our irreverent, bad-ass spirit will be crushed? Hell no. The truth is, we’ve never actually been bad-ass. Perhaps a bit irreverent, but at heart most of us at Opus are somewhat conservative hoteliers. We understand that, above all, travelers want comfort, convenience, and intuitive service. In Vancouver and Montreal, Opus will offer this and more: a unique and special experience that reflects the local history and culture.

I’ve been traveling to Montreal a lot lately, and anyone who travels east on business will relate to the joys of traversing time zones. You lose an entire day flying. The lateness of your flight is directly correlated with the earliness of your morning meeting. Your luggage takes forever to arrive, and it's a very tense time because everyone carries the same black suitcase and you're certain that pushy lady with the bad perm made off with yours. The taxi queue rivals the line at the passport office. If you’re lucky, you get to the hotel by midnight, which is okay because it’s only 9:00 pm back home. Except you can’t sleep. At all. Even with medication. You muddle through the next day in a jet-lagged, overmedicated, sleep-deprived haze. Finally, 6:00 pm arrives. Your day is over. Except a barrage of frantic emails from back home ensues, chaining you to your computer until their workday is over, three hours later. When you finally do adjust to local time, it’s time to fly home, where you suffer the same trauma in reverse.

While in Montreal I’ve been living in the hotel, which sounds glamorous, and sometimes it is. Hotels are magical places, staffed by super-friendly people who open doors for you, call you sir, and make your bed way better than you ever could. I love having my own little shampoo containers and jam jars. But a certain degree of privacy is sacrificed. On Tuesday my “wakeup call” was delivered by an irate guest screaming into my phone about a mishap at check-in.

Language is more formal in Montreal. In my capacity as acting general manager I’ve been introducing myself to staff like a typical westerner: “Hi! I’m Dan.” Yet when they introduce me it’s, "Je vous présente Monsieur Daniel Craig, le directeur general.” This makes me feel exceptionally important, wealthy, and, inexplicably, taller. I’m considering insisting on the same introduction in Vancouver, perhaps with “par excellence” thrown in for good measure. But I’m a little nervous about how it will be received.

Speaking of which, what is it that compels certain hotel managers to act like royalty? Over the years I’ve observed them prancing about their hotels, expecting employees to fall at their feet in their presence, seeming to relish the terror they strike in their hearts. Did we go back to the 18th century and no one told me? “That little minion didn’t curtsy when I passed—off with her head!” Shouldn’t managers want staff to expend this time and energy fussing over guests?

In my world, good hotel management boils down to one word: respect. Earned respect, not ordained respect. Treat everyone with respect—guests, staff, colleagues, owners, suppliers, that perky saleslady who’s called you five times this week, and, yes, even that high-strung VP in Delaware—and they will respect you. Humility is also essential. Guests and staff must always come first. If it has to be about you, consider a career in show business. Add hard work to the mix—as Thomas Edison said, there is no substitute for hard work—, integrity, and a bit of luck, and you have the recipe for success, whether you work for a five-star hotel, a roadside motel, a chain or an independent.

These are the values we’ll be bringing to Opus Montreal. We look forward to seeing you there. A la prochaine.

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Friday, June 15, 2007

So you want to work in hotels...

I get lots of messages from hospitality students and aspiring hotel workers who read this blog. In fact, an associate professor at San Francisco State University recently emailed me to say the General Manager’s Blog is required reading for his class. For some time now I’ve been promising to write a post about how to get into the hotel business. As the shortage of workers in the hotel industry begins to reach crisis proportions, the time is ripe.

One of the “horror stories” I’ve heard is a Wendy’s in Alberta had to close because they couldn’t find people to staff it. Doesn’t sound like much of a horror story to me. Starbucks maybe, but Wendy’s? All sorts of emergency task forces and working groups and action committees are being formed to address the labour shortage. Which begs the question, wouldn’t our time be better spent working than exacerbating the problem by sitting in meetings? The prospect of not having enough staff to fill positions strikes terror in the heart of hotel managers. Not only are we concerned that service levels will suffer but, more importantly, we’re terrified that we’ll have to do the work ourselves. Don’t be surprised if the next time you stay at a hotel the general manager parks your car and the human resources director fluffs your pillows.

If you’re interested in working in hotels but don’t know where to start, my advice is to get a job in a hotel. Brilliant, I know. My point is that I caution you against enrolling in four-year hotel management program before you know if the industry is right for you. Some people just aren’t very hospitable, and you’d be much better off establishing this before wasting your time and money on a diploma. If you are a good fit, then you’ll have some great practical experience to apply to your studies.

How to get a job in a hotel without experience or education? No problem. Hotels used to be really uppity about hiring the young and inexperienced, but times have changed. Many hotels, particularly big ones, are desperate for staff. This doesn’t mean that even though you have a ring in your nose and a chip on your shoulder you can walk into a high-paying executive position. It means if you are well-groomed, outgoing and have a great attitude you should be able to land an entry-level job. Even a little whippersnapper fresh out of high school can. Yes way.

The key is you have to be open to anything—delivering room service, cleaning rooms, bussing tables, fanning the GM—at any time on any day of the week. Yes, that might mean—gasp—graveyard shifts. We stopped calling them graveyards a long time ago for obvious reasons, so don’t be fooled by euphemisms like “night shifts” or “shift work”. If you want to work in guest services or management, the reality is that night shifts are a right of passage. The great news is you get to witness bizarre things that nine-to-fivers never see. Night shifts make you stronger, more knowledgeable and less afraid of the dark.

If you can’t demonstrate this kind of flexibility then you’re probably not cut out for the industry. A degree in hotel management isn’t going to change that. Save your money and consider a career in banking.

If you manage to land an entry-level job, don’t worry if it’s not your ideal position. Play your cards right and there will be opportunities to move. Work hard and be super nice to everyone, even that bossy lady in HR who made you cut your hair. Never say “It’s not my department” or “I can’t” or “Bite me.” Pay close attention to detail. And don’t steal anything, not even pillow chocolates. Colleagues must respect you, guests must love you and management must remember you. Once you’ve established yourself as an essential and noble martyr, don’t assume you’re entitled to the first opportunity that comes along. It takes time, patience and luck. Years ago, a coworker on the front desk used to apply for every sales position that came available. When she didn’t get them she would bitch to everyone about management’s appalling shortsightedness. She became the Susan Lucci of the front desk, always a contender but never quite good enough. Hm, wonder why.

I realized just how desperate hotels are for qualified people when a colleague from another hotel called me for a reference check on a former employee. The employee had issues, a lot of them, and I was quite candid about not recommending him. A few days later I got a call back. They wanted to know just how bad he really was. Apparently, the staffing situation was so dire they were willing to overlook past transgressions. Until recently, one negative word in a reference check was enough to rule out a candidate. Now hotels are more willing to compromise, which is very scary indeed. Good old Canadian hospitality is in jeopardy.

What’s the solution? One committee suggests bringing retired people back into the workforce and attracting foreign workers, disabled people, youths and aboriginals. All great ideas, but I think we need to be even more creative. What about ex-convicts? They’d be good at making beds. In fact, why wait until they get out of prison—why not hire prisoners? We’d have to keep them shackled, of course, and away from the cash drawer, but I’ve fantasized before about handcuffing wayward employees to their desks. Military personnel are also worth consideration. Their skills with weapons would come in handy in the accounting department collecting bills. We could also import workers from France now that its new rightwing government appears determined to kick immigrants out.

A more obvious solution is to increase wages in the hotel industry. I suggest we start with the general manager. Katrina suggests starting with the director of sales & marketing. Regardless, it would increase operating costs, which would result in higher room rates, but in this economy people have more money, and they should be willing to pay a premium for good service, no? A positive work environment is also important, as are good benefits, training and opportunities for advancement. But now I’m stating the obvious. I’m starting to feel like I’m in one of those task force meetings.

The big question is, if we manage to attract enough employees to staff all these hotels under development, are we going to have enough travellers to fill them? Only time will tell. In the meantime, outgoing, flexible candidates with no previous criminal convictions are welcome to send your resume to careers@opushotel.com.

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